Journey through the Lent Season - Halfway Home
This is the first year that I’ve really participated in the Lent season, at least as far as I can remember. Lent is a season of fasting, repentance, and preparation for Easter. Normally, Lent sneaks up on me, and I forget about it, so I end up missing it. This year, however, I happened to be playing for an Ash Wednesday service, so I had time to prepare and think about the next forty days. It has been a journey, and I’ve learned several things, so I thought I would share in this three-part series. Part 1 was about the first few days. Today, I’m taking a look at what I learned in those first few days.
Halfway Home
After my initial few days of pain and withdrawal, things got better. My daily routine kicked in, and I just got accustomed to doing things without a cup of coffee in my hand. I ignored the coffee maker and went on with my life.
There was a kind of satisfaction that went along with this. A sense that, even though I enjoyed drinking coffee, I didn’t NEED it. I felt strong and confident that I could make it to Easter with no more problems. But I guess pride goes before the fall.
Here’s what happened:
About three weeks in (halfway through Lent), I found myself at a training meeting for work. I was in Atlanta in a conference room at a hotel for the training. As soon as I walk into the lobby, what do I see but a Starbucks in the lobby. I stopped and stared because I knew exactly what was happening. I was going to spend the next 4 hours mere feet from kryptonite. It was a struggle, but I finally forced myself (along with some really intense begging and pleading through prayer) to the conference room. I told myself that I would just stay in the conference room and everything would be good.
Not so much.
I walk into the room and find, among some snacks and pastries, a couple carafes of Starbucks coffee. It was miserable. At every break, all I could think about was how much I wanted some of that coffee. Even worse, they gave us all a free coffee mug. Torture. It’s just one cup, I would convince myself. Today’s not a normal day, so it’s okay if you let yourself. Again, much prayer. Thankfully, I made it through the day without giving in.
The problem, I realized later, was the break in habit. Since Ash Wednesday, I had set up my daily life, which normally revolved around coffee, to avoid it altogether. I stayed away from it completely so as not to be tempted by it. I avoided it because I knew I was weak to it, and I didn’t want to give in. This, however, was different because I was forced into an unavoidable situation and forced to confront the issue.
That’s the progression when you’re trying to remove sin from your life. When you first resist, you typically have to remove yourself completely from any kind of temptation. Alcoholic? Stay away from bars and the beer aisle at the grocery store. Addicted to porn? Stay off the internet. It works at least for most of the external types of sins. BUT, there comes a point where you have to learn how to resist it face-to-face. I think this is the experience Jesus had in the desert when the devil came and tempted him to his face.
It’s a whole new level of struggle, and again, I was only able to refrain through prayer and reliance on God. There was nothing in me that was going to resist. Frankly, I’m kind of amazed I was able to make it through.