The Christian Response to Gay Marriage

The big news today is the Supreme Court’s ruling that all Americans, regardless of sexual orientation, may legally marry in every state across the nation. The issue of gay marriage has been a divisive issue in our nation. It’s more or less been Christians against everyone else. I’ve heard a lot of comments and opinions on both sides of the issue, and now that the matter has been settled in the legal system, here are some things that Christians need to remember and understand about our response to something like gay marriage.

The U.S.A. is not a Christian nation.

I hate to tell some of you, but the United States is not a Christian nation. I’ve heard countless times that this is a Christian nation and it’s one nation under God and we need to put God back in schools and everything else. Let’s get some facts straight. The United States is not nor has it ever been a Christian country. Christianity just happened to be the majority religion for a large chunk of the nation’s history.

The U.S. is a nation founded on religious freedom. There is no official religion in the United States. The whole reason people came over to this region of the world was to escape some form of religious persecution. Granted, most of that was based on whether you were a Catholic or Protestant and what the ruling king at the time followed, but the whole point of the First Amendment is to ensure that everyone can freely practice there religion, not set up a master religion to judge over all the others. Heck, even the founding fathers weren’t all Christians. Some were deists, rationalists, and so on.

We want to fight about legal issues and say that the Ten Commandments should be in front of court houses because that’s what our country’s laws were based on. News flash. Most other faiths speak out against murder, theft, lying, and the like. Those aren’t exclusively Christian. In fact, they’re Jewish. And the ones that are exclusive—like love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind—aren’t a part of our law.

So when we’re arguing about laws in our country, let’s remember that it’s a nation for all people, not one religion.

The Church is still the Church.

Jesus is still Jesus. Christians are still Christians. Non-Christians are still non-Christians. And Wile E. Coyote will still never catch the Road Runner. Nothing has changed about the church, folks. In fact, this may actually be a good direction for the church. Being in a “Christian” nation has made the church complacent anyway. Just because the laws aren’t “on our side” (which is a ridiculous thought to begin with), it doesn’t mean that the purpose of the church has changed at all.

Look, the Hebrews spent hundreds of years as captives to Egypt. The nation of Israel lived in captivity to the Babylonians and the Assyrians. The first Christians lived under Roman rule. None of these people lived under a government that was run by their faith, and guess what? Their beliefs still lived on. In fact, the church under Roman rule began, exploded, and thrived. And it still happens today. Some of the best stories of how the Gospel has changed lives has come from countries who actually have anti-Christian laws. Places like China and Southeast Asia and the Middle East.

Maybe this trend in government is the wake-up call we need as Christians to truly understand that our nation is not comprised only of Christ followers, especially here in the South. People need to hear the Gospel.

Love triumphs over hate.

“Love Wins” is trending as I type this. It’s true, and we need to remember that. Jesus told us that we will be known by our love. I see a lot of hate out there. I also see a lot of love. We should see more love. We need to stop and ask ourselves if the actions were are taking are the response of a loving God.

I know this brings up the issue of homosexuality as sin. A couple of thoughts:

First of all, people who are not followers of Christ don’t care about sin. What I mean by this is that telling someone that they’re going to hell because of their sin doesn’t really affect someone who doesn’t believe in hell. Take Jesus’s example. Jesus never told people to fix their lives before they could come to him. No, he said that the sick are the ones who need a doctor. He established relationships with these people first, then told them to go and sin no more.

Secondly, for those who would bring up the issue of people who are homosexual and profess to be Christians. That’s a separate matter that requires a person to be convicted about their own personal sins. I would, however, pose some questions in response. Can a true follower of Christ still struggle and knowingly commit sins like anger, envy, and pride, his entire life and still be forgiven of that sin? And are these sins any lesser sins than others? Is a person who spends her entire life in sin but professes faith in Christ just before she dies any less forgiven than someone who did his entire life? I recall a parable from Jesus about some workers and their wages.

As I’m preparing for a sermon I’m preaching this Sunday, I’ve been reading through Acts and Paul’s life. Paul was guilty of so many sins, terrible ones at that. Yet, he was forgiven for all of them. He also spent much of his ministry preaching on how salvation is based on faith. A lot of arguing I hear seems more like works-based salvation talk.

Jesus’s sacrifice covers over a multitude of sins, and I don’t recall seeing a list anywhere in the Bible that explains which sins will be forgiven and which ones won’t. There’s only one place where Jesus said a sin wouldn’t be forgiven, Matthew 12:31,32: “Therefore I tell you, every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven people, but the blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven. And whoever speaks a word against the Son of Man will be forgiven, but whoever speaks against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven, either in this age or in the age to come.” Being so far gone that you can’t tell the difference between good and evil and attributing the work of the Holy Spirit to Satan. That’s a sin that can’t be forgiven. Everything else is covered by the blood of Jesus.

Here’s my response: Instead of sitting around pouting and complaining that the government is against Christianity, forget about the government. It’s not their job anyway. It’s not one nation under God. It’s one nation that contains a group of disciples under God.

It’s our job to go out and take the good news of Jesus Christ to those who need to hear it. It’s our job to give hope to those who don’t have it. It’s our job to introduce people to a relationship with God.

In life, you’re either moving toward God or away from him. Let’s help everyone we encounter move toward God.

How to Get Past Being Hurt by the Church

If you’ve been involved in a church for any significant amount of time, then chances are this has happened to you. Regardless of the size of the church and the people in it, at some point you have probably been hurt by someone in the church. It could be something a church leader said. It could be a congregant passing judgment on you. Maybe you were even asked to leave a church for some reason or another and it put a bitter taste in your mouth.

Regardless of what it is, these things happen often. People experience hurts feeling or more at the hands of Christians. Christians and non-Christians alike have experienced this. This has led to criticisms of the church such as “Christians are hypocrites,” “Christians are nothing but self-righteous judgmental people,” and so on. Many people have left the church altogether because of this. Some just can’t seem to find a local church that’s not that way. Others even become adamant antagonists toward the church.

There is a different way, however.

I’ve been in that boat. I’ve been hurt by church people in the past. I’ve had strong church leaders that I looked up to do things that I knew were not in the will of God. It really hurt, and I held onto it for a long time. I even questioned whether or not it was worth it to be involved in church anymore. Let me tell you, it sucks to be there. And if you’ve been there, you know what I mean. Especially if you’re a follower of Christ who is trying to live a godly life, and you know that being in church is a part of that.

But like I said, there’s another way to deal with it, one that doesn’t involve turning your back on the church. It is possible to get over the hurt that someone in a church has caused you and still be a faithful member of a church congregation. Here are a few thoughts to keep in mind if or when you are hurt by a church and feel like giving up:

1. The church is run by people.

Duh, right? It’s a simple statement, but it carries so much significance behind it. The church is run by human beings, and we all know what human beings are. Flawed. Every person sins, whether they are the preacher of a church of thousands or serial killer.

The problem that we have, and it comes from multiple ends, is church leaders and Christians in the church are, in a way, put up onto a pedestal. Because some guy is a leader of a church that thousands of people attend, there are higher expectations put onto him. And that is rightly done. James even tells us in his letter that those who teach are judged with greater strictness. This is just the natural consequence of being a leader: you are judged with a higher standard.

The problem with this is that we’ve taken this to an extreme. Leaders are not just held to higher standards now. They’re held to perfection. Christians expect the Christian life to be a perfect life. And when they’re shown to not be perfect, they are crucified for it. A preacher has an affair or steals money from the church or whatever, and what happens? He loses his leadership position, yes, but what about after that? They go into hiding and aren’t seen in a church. The godly people that were his friends suddenly aren’t so close anymore. Where is the forgiveness and rehabilitation Jesus taught? Where is the godly love from his Christian brothers and sisters?

The other side of the problem, and potentially more hurtful, is the judgment that non-Christians often experience. My mind immediately goes to a conversation I had with a student of mine this past year. He asked my thoughts as a Christian on homosexuality. As the conversation went on, I found out that some Christian students at the school had been calling him some very derogatory names because he’s homosexual. This, paired with churches like Westboro Baptist Church, propagates a theology that says God hates sinners.

This is a problem.

Nothing could be further from the truth. God loves sinners. It’s the whole reason Jesus died on the cross. Additionally, it’s not our job as Christians to be judge and jury. Paul even mentions this in 1 Corinthians 5:12,13: “For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge? God judges those outside. ‘Purge the evil person from among you.’”

Did you catch who Christians are supposed to judge? Other Christians. But not from an arrogant pedestal.

Our jobs as Christians in the church is twofold: to love those outside the church, and to build up those inside. I think a lot of times we get that wrong. And it does a lot of damage to others in the name of Jesus. And if it’s happened to you, it doesn’t have to be the end.

2. Remember, not every congregation is the same.

This can be a tough one. It’s hard not to generalize an entire religion based on a smaller entity of it. We’ve done it with the Islamic faith. People hear Muslim and automatically think terrorist when, in fact, many Muslims are just as peaceful people as anyone else. If I’m not mistaken, I recall a few events in history when Christians went on killing sprees in the name of Jesus (i.e. The Crusades, the Spanish Inquisition, the Salem Witch Trials). Does this mean all Christians want to burn people at the stake? Not at all.

Just because one church congregation has done damage to your life, it doesn’t mean another one will. Think of it this way:

If I was hurt by a church congregation and then used that to say that I would never attend another church, it would be the same as if I dated someone when I was 16 who cheated on me and I said I would never date anyone ever again. I know some people who have said that, but I haven’t seen it last. We know that people are different, and so we’re willing to take a chance with another person because we realize the next person will not be the same as the previous one. This next one could work out.

The church is the same way. One congregation may have done something to you, but another congregation may have just what you need. To those who are not Christians, I say not all churches are judgmental and condemning. Many of them are very much accepting and loving and work to help show Christ’s love. To those who are Christians, I say there are places to find forgiveness, even for the greatest of sins.

3. Faith should be based on Christ, not Christians

This may sound strange, but it’s probably more common than you realize. I know from experience. I had someone who was a tremendous influence on me as a teenager and had a significant impact on my life. Years later, events transpired and I subsequently lost a lot of respect for that person. What I didn’t realize was how much it shook my faith. I struggled for a long time with it. And I mean a long time.

The problem, I realized, was that I had built much of my faith base on that person rather than on the life and death of Jesus. It’s so easy to do, though. Especially with “celebrity” preachers. I think about Rob Bell and Mark Driscoll. Both preachers had huge followings, and still do, but then something happened that the church community didn’t agree with. The aftermath for each was that a lot of people essentially denounced them, people who were diehard followers of these guys. They just went the complete opposite direction.

The issue there is that people became followers of the preacher, not what he was preaching. When this happens, this preacher becomes an idol. You can love the sermons and books and wisdom that a preacher puts out there. Just make sure your still following Jesus, not that person. And just because they do or say something you don’t agree with, it doesn’t mean that other things they have said are false.

All said, the church is the church. Everything is not going to be perfect. It’s never going to be. But it’s all we have. Jesus left us the church when he went back to heaven for a reason, and we shouldn’t completely disregard that. It’s probably the closest thing on earth we have to heaven.

I mean, my wife and I have hurt each other’s feelings in the past. It probably won’t be limited to the past either. My closest friends and I have as well. But we didn’t give up because the end result was the most important thing, the relationships we had with each other. And the end result of the church is a relationship with God.

Besides, I seem to recall Jesus spoke about forgiveness. He spoke a lot about forgiveness. We expect to be forgiven when we mess up. We also need to be forgiving when churches mess up, too.